Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"Take A Bow"

Okay, so my first date wasn’t the knock your socks off, let’s get married tomorrow type date but like I mentioned it got me back in the “dating scene.”

Ever since I started to like boys I found myself always being drawn to athletes. I don’t think I have ever not dated an athlete. Maybe it’s because I was always one too and they always knew what I was going through. Beyond just athletes, I have always had a soft spot for baseball boys.. aka (usually) male whores who think they are hot shit. Yup – real winners I know. This next guy was no exception

Stats

Name - Mike

Looks – hot (light brown hair , green eyes, tan skin…mmm J )

Hometown – Boston (yummy)

Work – College Baseball Coach

Mike was fresh off the boat, ok plane, from Boston and besides his baseball coaches and team, he didn’t know anyone. Like a lot of people who are on Match, he joined to meet people in the area. Little did he know he would come across me! We started emailing. On paper he just kept getting more perfect with every word I read. After a couple weeks and pages and pages of emails later we exchanged phone numbers and started texting. He was a big texter – which I have since learned is a HUGE flag that a guy is not a good communicator – oh ya and that’s a RED flag by the way! Anyway, we had so much in common. Like me, he comes from a big family and is super close with them – major plus points in my book! Finally we agreed that it was time to meet up!! I was so excited. I had such a good feeling about this one.

For those who know me well know I have a tendency to get a little carried away in my head. When I see potential in a guy I really run with it. Wedding bells start going off in my head. I composite our faces in my mind to believe I can see what our kids would look like – ya, I’m one of those girls! (I’m working on that).

Since I was a little more familiar with the area I told him I would pick the place we would meet. All be it a bit corny I chose a baseball themed restaurant/bar called McCovey’s in Walnut Creek. We chose to just get drinks at the bar – which is safer than the full-blown dinner date. It’s always nice to know that just in case it’s not what you hope for you can down your drink and get the hell out of there!

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So I got there first (which is what I wanted since I didn’t want to be the one walking in and awkwardly looking around the restaurant for someone I may or may not really know what they look like!). I take a seat at the bar pretending to look super into my phone so I don’t look like a total loser by myself, meanwhile, he let’s me know he’s parking. Cool, I only have to look like a loser for a couple more minutes. I decide to order myself a nice cold Blue Moon and think, what the hell I’ll order him one too. The bartender took my order and informed me that he will have to just show his ID when he gets there…easy enough. As I am casually looking around waiting for Mike, I see a guy who is staring at me and starting to walk towards me. Now, when you meet someone from Match.com there is always the possibility that their pictures might be old, or not accurate and this seemed like that kind of a case. This guy was NOT cute and I was really starting to have a mini panic attack in my head of “oh shit not again!!...another one who isn’t cute? COME ON!!” But being the nice person I am as he comes up to me I get off my stool and greet him with hug

Me: (while hugging him) “Hi, how are you?!”

Mike –“Good”

Me – “So I bought you a beer you just have to show your ID!”

Mike – “ I’m really sorry, but I don’t know who you are”

OMG WRONG FUCKING GUY!!! …..that’s right, I just HUGGED a total stranger thinking it was my match.com date.

Me: “ omg, I am so sorry I thought you were someone else who I am meeting here for the first time!”

Not Mike : “That’s ok. Well if he doesn’t show up I’ll be sitting right over there”

Yes, that really just happened! I am so embarrassed but really fucking relieved this isn’t my date. Now I am praying to God that the REAL Mike is much better looking. Two minutes later I turn around and see him….HOT!! Thank the Lord. We sat that the bar drinking and talking.

Conversation Flow – check

Receptive Body Language – check

Casual touching of the arm and leg (my signature moves when I’m into a guy) – check

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Things were going great. By now it’s almost 11 and the restaurant is closing soon. Since we were enjoying each other so much we decided to take our night to another bar. We headed out and landed at a bar called 1515. About three rum and cokes later I am sharing with him my earlier night’s embarrassing moment. We continue to laugh and drink until 2 am when we get kicked out due to last call. Hand in hand he walks me to my car. I decided to give him a ride to his car down the street. As I am double parked, getting ready to say goodnight, he leans in and we start making out. Not more than 2 minutes later a cop pulls up next to us and directs me to get on my way and stop holding up traffic…whoops. Good thing he didn’t ask me to walk a straight line or blow into the breathalyzer because I just may have not passed…I know – stupid move…but believe me it’s not as stupid as what happens on our next date….but that is gonna come a little later so you are just going to have to wait! But yes, there was a second date – something that I have found to be very rare when it comes to match.com dates.

I went home that night so giddy I ran into my parents bedroom to let them know I think I found “the one.” Told you, I get a little ahead of myself!

Lesson #2 : When it comes to any kind of blind or semi-blind date, ALWAYS make sure you address the person before you just ASSUME it’s them. While it may seem a little business like to get up and address them by name with question, it will save you from a potential and incredibly embarrassing moment – however it leads you with a funny story to tell…but seriously – learn from my mistakes!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Successfully Unsuccessful

Let's take a minute to dive into why it is I decided to join a dating website. When I used to hear that couple's met online it always seemed a bit sad and pathetic really. Never would I have guessed I would be part of that "sad and pathetic" group. However, online dating is not as taboo as it once was and, in fact, it is actually quite popular.

When I moved home from college I was not only newly single (3 years out of the "dating" game) but also in a new town since my parents moved away from where I grew up. I kept seeing those ridiculously corny commercials for match.com and figured what the hell - let's at least look at what kind of guys are on here. I'm not sure what I thought I would find (maybe some old creeper men that just wanted ass from young women?) but was actually impressed with the talent of the East Bay where I had put in my search.

February 10, 2009 - I am going to throw out dates that I remember..and yes, they will have significance!

So I was sitting at Starbucks getting ready to fill out my Match profile. To be honest I kept looking over my shoulders at people around me to see if they were looking at my computer screen that, in large print said Match.com - or what seemed more like "DESPERATE.COM" Since I didn't personally know of anyone my age on a dating site I was a little embarrassed and hesitant to do so. But there I was, almost completely finished.

Profile name - Sportychic5 (cute?lame? whatever)
Looking for - Men ages 23-28

While I was waiting for my pictures to get uploaded I got an IM - I didn't even realize this was a feature of Match, but I rolled with it and took a look at the guy's profile. Cute. Seemed interesting so what the fuck, let's talk. We started chatting. Based on my oh-so-clever profile name he kicked off the convo asking me what my favorite sports teams were. So, for about five minutes we bullshitted about sports - which is fine because, after all, I am a SPORTY CHIC. Two hours later we decided to exchange phone numbers. WOW - less then 5 hours spent on this site and I already got some digits?? $34.99 well spent!! Over the next couple days we chatted through text...not ready for phone convo's. Since we seemed to hit it off through our writing capabilities we agreed to give it shot in real life.

Name - Paul
Occupation- Journalist
Date - Meet for Drinks at local Pub to watch a Basketball game.....ON VALENTINES DAY!!!!

Yes that's right - I had a blind, well not blind really but, first date with a stranger on Valentine's Day. No pressure right?! We decided to meet there (always the safer option). As I walked up to the pub I saw him standing there.

First thought - cuter in pictures & way too short!

He said he was 5'8". Bullshit. I'm barely 5'3" and he was only a couple inches taller - minus 5 points. While we yucked it up over a couple beers I just kept thinking - "man, I am wasting all these beer calories for THIS guy??" He was nice, yes, but I didn't JUST want nice..i wanted hot. I wanted fireworks. What can I say...I'm a dreamer!

We finished watching the basketball game and parted ways. I wasn't the best at communicating certain types of feelings. I do better with the "just ignore it and it will go away approach." So when he kept calling and texting,I did just that; Immature? - yes. Mean? - maybe a little. Finally my mom convinced me to be honest with him. So eventually, through text of course, I told him that he's a really nice guy but I just didn't have that "spark." He said he didn't really feel it either - but who wouldn't say that when someone tells them that first? Sure you didn't feel anything! (then why did you call again?)

First Match date - Successfully Unsuccessful. I say this because while the chemistry wasn't there between us, I broke the dating seal. I officially was back in the game and it felt great. Bring on the men!!!! Match.com - I think we are going to be good friends!

Lesson #1 - When dating it is important to be honest. People are not mind readers and while you make think they should "just know" you weren't into them, that's not always the case. While it may hurt their feelings or their pride it is better to just let them know that there will be no second date. They will appreciate the honesty and in turn will hopefully be honest as well if in the same situation down the road.

Diary of a Single Gal

Hello and welcome to my blog!

I am starting this blog, not because I think I am so interesting that everyone should read about my life but I can tell you that when it comes to me, men, and dating - I am pretty interesting. After joining the dating site Match.com, over the last year and half I have landed myself on some of the best and worst dates of my life. I have made friends, fallen in love and gotten pieces of my heart broken, but through all of it I continue to put my heart out there in search of that special someone.

You are entering into my heart and my mind. I want to share not only my stories with you but pieces of wisdom, some advice, and my own personal revelations along the way. ***Disclaimer... This is a "diary-esc" type blog so I feel the need to inform my readers that you are going to read exactly what was in my head and what went on in my life. Foul language and sexual content will be used so please - mature audiences only. ***

This is the story of a girl in her twenties, not sure if she’s looking for fun, love, or a little bit of both but always finds her self in interesting situations. Will she find her match? - I don't know let's find out shall we!!