A few weeks had past since my wonderful encounters with Mike. For those who have yet to experience the online dating scene there is somewhat of a protocol – at least that is what I am learning. While it’s called “Match”.com it usually takes more searching on your part to find the people you are attracted to. People often say “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” but when pictures and some words are all you really have to go by it seems like that is really the only thing you can do. Once you have landed on a profile of someone you find attractive there are two options. Some people go straight for the email while others send a “wink” (think of it like a poke on Facebook). All that really does is allow the recipient of the wink to know you think they are attractive. Maybe you will get a wink back or maybe an email – or sometimes no response whatsoever. I am a fan of winking. I’ll wink at all kinds of people and see what happens. Because I don’t take it too serious or to heart if I don’t get a response I know my life will go on.
While doing a daily (yes daily…unemployed at the time + boredom = match.com feign) search of men on the Match, I came across a profile that stuck out. Not only was he extremely cute (to give you a visual think of a not so pansy Kris Allen from American Idol) but also we seemed to have a good amount in common. So naturally, I winked! Soon after I got a wink back and basically the green light to email. I sent him an email just saying “hi” and that I thought he was cute blah blah blah. Over the next week or two we shared emails and it seemed promising. He had asked for my number and told me he’d really like to talk on the phone sometime and asked if I would be up for that – whoa! No texting..straight into phone convo…am I ready for that?
One thing that only a few people know about me is I have an extremely sensitive ear for voices. Some may call it weird but I will literally will not date someone if I don’t like their voice so I get a little apprehensive to when it comes to talking toguys on the phone for the first time. There is a fine line of what is acceptable to me – I know this may sound weird. I’m sure most women will agree with me when I say a man with a voice that is higher pitched than normal is pretty unattractive. So although I was hesitant about the phone call, I agreed.
A little background on this guy:
His name is, actually I am not going to give his real name..you'll figure out why later - but he is training to be a Fire Fighter, so we'll call him Fire Guy. Is it just me or do you hear the words Fire Fighter and automatically see no shirt, buff tanned bud, holding the hose (not his hose but the fire hose) on the front of a calendar? – love that image!
Anyway – he calls me one night. I answer the phone and was greeted by a slightly higher pitched voice than I tend to like…Minus 2 points. However, the conversation between was going well. There weren’t too many of those awkward silences. Those are the WORST – especially when they are face to face…ugh I get chills thinking about that stuff. We chatted for almost an hour when we decided to both go to bed. This went on for a couple days when he finally decided to ask me out. I accepted and he said he would plan the whole thing. That Saturday we met at a restaurant in Walnut Creek called Maria Maria. As I walked up to the restaurant he greeted me with a beautiful single Orchid flower. …Plus the two points I took back earlier. However, minus a point because he was wearing glasses. Not that I have anything against glasses, but he didn’t have them on in any of his profile pictures so why wear them on your first date? He was also a little skinnier than I had hoped. But he was dressed very well and I was nervous but excited about this date.
We headed into the restaurant and the waitress took us to our table – a table that he had personally requested which was right next to the live music but in a spot where it wasn’t too loud. Impressive! At this point I am wondering if this is something he has done before…but whatever I’m falling for it! The food was absolutely amazing and the company was great too. Now, it’s about that time – check time. What kind of guy is this? Will he pay? Will we fucking split it?.....
Test #1 – Passed…like a good gentlemen he paid.
As we were getting ready to leave he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else, which I did, so he took me to a Billiards Hall. We played a couple rounds of pool, had a couple of beers and played some games that were in the back. As we were playing the one of those basketball shooting games he took my by his side and planted a kiss right on my lips. Although a little surprised, I rolled with I and kissed him back. It felt right and it felt nice. So as were pretty much making out in this little room, a knock on the window interrupts the moment and we are told to leave. Apparently making out is not one of the games – who knew!? After that buzz kill we decided to get out of there and press on.
It’s now about 10pm and we decide to stop for dessert at Mel’s Diner and split a delicious milkshake. Yup, two straws and everything – basically a scene straight out of Happy Days between Joanie and Chachie. This was most definitely the best date I had ever been on and it seemed like the night was going just perfect. After our dessert we strolled around downtown making little pit stops to make out underneath the lights of the trees. It was very romantic. I felt like I was in a movie. Since my car was just around the corner we hopped in and I drove him to his car that was parked in a parking garage just a couple streets up. (This is also another little “test” I have.) I am always interested in what kind of car someone drives. It doesn’t have to be an expensive car but I feel like your car says a lot about you. He drove a Ford Explore – not bad, minus the gold-ish paint job. We said our goodbyes and kissed each other good night.
All the way home I was smiling – thinking to myself what great night that was. It was a different set of feelings I had then I did about Mike. There wasn’t the same kind of “fireworks” but I genuinely had a good time and would go out again with this guy if he asked.
When I got home, right before I got into bed, I decided to send him a text.
Me: “Just wanted to say thanks again for a really great night”
Fire Guy: “ Can I call you? “
Me: “Right now, sure. Is everything ok?
Fire Guy: “ There is just something on my mind I want to talk to you about”
PAUSE!!
Um….this is our FIRST DATE!! What the hell could he possibly be thinking about that he needs to call me right away? I was nervous for what was coming my way but nothing; I repeat NOTHING could have prepared me for what he said. As the phone rang I could feel my stomach turn a bit. What was going on right now??? I hesitantly answered the phone. After a few seconds of small talk he got right into it, via the following;
Fire Guy: “ So there is just something that I feel you should know about me before things go any further between us”
My thoughts (gay? Depressed? Porn star? ……no clue)
Me: “ ok what’s up?”
Fire Guy: “ Well I am a recovering Heroin addict.”
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!!!!!! A WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A WHAT???!!!!
Like I said, nothing could have prepared me for this! How do you respond to something like that? Never would I have guessed he used to be a drug addict. He was so clean cut and put together and, while I don’t know many drug addicts, the one’s I see on TV DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS! So there I am left basically speechless on the other end of the phone. It took about 5 seconds for me to gather some kind of answer back.
Me: “ okaaaayyyy. Well how long have you been sober?”
Fire Guy : “ Almost a year.” (Almost??? I was thinking like 2 years at least. Plus I am pretty sure when you are a recovering anything you are not supposed to date for at least a year)
Me: “ Wow, ok well ….I really want to thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share that with me but to be honest I just don’t think that is something I can handle right now.”
And that was basically the extent of our last phone conversation ever. To go back to that night, when I got home from my date I went in to my parent room – per usual, to let them know I got home safe and to tell them the date was amazing. So, naturally my parents were really excited to hear about the date. How do I tell them that it was great but, oh yea he did Heroin!? I didn’t have it in me to tell them yet and they just couldn’t’ understand why I wasn’t’ being more enthusiastic when I was so excited about it the night before. Finally, a few days later I told my mom what had happened and she obviously understood and felt bad for making me feel bad for not talking to him.
Match Date #3 – Thanks but No Thanks!
Lesson #4 – This is why we don’t judge books by their covers. Even when that’s all you can do at first you never really know what you are going to get until you open up the book and start reading. Sometimes you have to close the book after reading the first page when you realize this just isn’t the book for you!
