When I moved home from college I was not only newly single (3 years out of the "dating" game) but also in a new town since my parents moved away from where I grew up. I kept seeing those ridiculously corny commercials for match.com and figured what the hell - let's at least look at what kind of guys are on here. I'm not sure what I thought I would find (maybe some old creeper men that just wanted ass from young women?) but was actually impressed with the talent of the East Bay where I had put in my search.
February 10, 2009 - I am going to throw out dates that I remember..and yes, they will have significance!
So I was sitting at Starbucks getting ready to fill out my Match profile. To be honest I kept looking over my shoulders at people around me to see if they were looking at my computer screen that, in large print said Match.com - or what seemed more like "DESPERATE.COM" Since I didn't personally know of anyone my age on a dating site I was a little embarrassed and hesitant to do so. But there I was, almost completely finished.
Profile name - Sportychic5 (cute?lame? whatever)
Looking for - Men ages 23-28
While I was waiting for my pictures to get uploaded I got an IM - I didn't even realize this was a feature of Match, but I rolled with it and took a look at the guy's profile. Cute. Seemed interesting so what the fuck, let's talk. We started chatting. Based on my oh-so-clever profile name he kicked off the convo asking me what my favorite sports teams were. So, for about five minutes we bullshitted about sports - which is fine because, after all, I am a SPORTY CHIC. Two hours later we decided to exchange phone numbers. WOW - less then 5 hours spent on this site and I already got some digits?? $34.99 well spent!! Over the next couple days we chatted through text...not ready for phone convo's. Since we seemed to hit it off through our writing capabilities we agreed to give it shot in real life.
Name - Paul
Occupation- Journalist
Date - Meet for Drinks at local Pub to watch a Basketball game.....ON VALENTINES DAY!!!!
Yes that's right - I had a blind, well not blind really but, first date with a stranger on Valentine's Day. No pressure right?! We decided to meet there (always the safer option). As I walked up to the pub I saw him standing there.
First thought - cuter in pictures & way too short!
He said he was 5'8". Bullshit. I'm barely 5'3" and he was only a couple inches taller - minus 5 points. While we yucked it up over a couple beers I just kept thinking - "man, I am wasting all these beer calories for THIS guy??" He was nice, yes, but I didn't JUST want nice..i wanted hot. I wanted fireworks. What can I say...I'm a dreamer!
We finished watching the basketball game and parted ways. I wasn't the best at communicating certain types of feelings. I do better with the "just ignore it and it will go away approach." So when he kept calling and texting,I did just that; Immature? - yes. Mean? - maybe a little. Finally my mom convinced me to be honest with him. So eventually, through text of course, I told him that he's a really nice guy but I just didn't have that "spark." He said he didn't really feel it either - but who wouldn't say that when someone tells them that first? Sure you didn't feel anything! (then why did you call again?)
First Match date - Successfully Unsuccessful. I say this because while the chemistry wasn't there between us, I broke the dating seal. I officially was back in the game and it felt great. Bring on the men!!!! Match.com - I think we are going to be good friends!
Lesson #1 - When dating it is important to be honest. People are not mind readers and while you make think they should "just know" you weren't into them, that's not always the case. While it may hurt their feelings or their pride it is better to just let them know that there will be no second date. They will appreciate the honesty and in turn will hopefully be honest as well if in the same situation down the road.
