When Robert and I first broke up I was a complete mess (as I'm sure anyone who has had their heart ripped from their chest and stomped on - then burned into ashes) can imagine. At that time all I wanted was to be in a relationship. Being someone's girlfriend felt so right and I had a vision set in my head of what I wanted - the whole shebang... I wasn't sure if I was ready or even wanted to go back on match but I figured I had such success the first time why not?
The thing that I like about sites like match.com is it allows you to be picky. Sure you are ultamately judging a book by it's cover but isn't that what we do most of the time anyway? You don't look across the bar and find a guy/girl and say "wow I bet they have a great personality"...no - you look at them and immedietly know if you are physically attracted. Granted, if someone is hot and has a shitty personality if can take away from their looks and vise versa. But when we are talking about first glance...we all judge - it's what we do. And for the record I usually do judge books by their cover - if I like the cover then I read the back, then I read the first few pages and if that captivates me I'll buy the book. The same process is applied to match.com. I see a picture of a guy and if I like it then I click on the profile. I read the "stats" (height, age, body type..) and if that checks out I read the rest of the profile. Then, if by the end of the profile I am convinced then I will "wink" or send a message. (I know this part was totally unnecessary but it gives you a little look at how the online dating process works for those of you reading this who might be interested in trying it out.)
Okay, so getting back on track...
About a month after the break up I decided to renew my subscription. When Robert and I were together we deleted out profiles. But this was good because I was a new person, looking for new things and it was only right that I created a new profile. Vitabella5 was officially back on the market -BRING ON THE MEN!!!....no BOYS allowed!
Within a week or two I began emailing a lot with this one guy. He was very cute, well spoken (written) and seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. We started talking on the phone and our conversations would go on for hours. It seemed like we wanted the same things out life. Of course I went through my usual process of picturing the "what could be" vision. There was only one thing that was standing in the way of this vision. I couldn't get over the fact that he wasn't just tall he was extra tall - 6'5'' tall. Did I mention that I'm just shy of 5'3"?? My first college boyfriend was 6'3" and so I kept trying to convince myself that those extra two inches wouldn't be that much of a difference.
We decided to finally go on a date and see what kind of chemistry we really had. While I was really excited to finally meet him I kept having a feeling that his height was just going to be a deal breaker. I tried really hard to not let that be the deciding factor if everything else about him checked out. However, the negative thoughts just kept rolling through my head. Everywhere I went I would ask friends, co-workders and yes even strangers if it would be weird for someone of my height to date someone of his height. I kept picturing how awkard that might look (Lenny and George from Of Mice and Men?) Weird. In my spare time I acutally Googled famous couples who had extreme height differences, such as Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. This was getting out of hand. I needed to just let it go.
For our date we agreed on going to a Giants game on a Saturday afternoon. At the time this seemed like a perfect date!...cute boy, baseball and beer - I mean what could be better on a sunny afternoon? Since going to the game was my idea I was planning on paying for the tickets but being a gentleman he went ahead and bought them - and not even just the bleacher seats were talkin' the $50 seats. I was impressed. He told me that he would pick me up at 12 for the 1 o'clock game.
Getting ready for a baseball game is usually easy, however, when it's a first date it makes it a little more challenging. Do I look cute, hot, decked out in Giants gear? I decided to combine all three elements with a finalized outfit of cute cut off jeans with my Giants jersey (cute and sporty element - √ ), hair and make up done extra nice (sex appeal - √ ).
He picked me up and since he didn't actually get out of the car I still hadn't gotten the full effect of seeing how tall he really is. Of course since it's a baseball game I am in flats. When we arrived it literally took 7 seconds for me to realize that not only was this guy gigantic but it just wasn't going to work out romantically. Call me shallow, call me ridiculous but I just can't deal with that kind of height. Walking up to the stadium I kept glancing in reflective windows, catching glimpses of just how stupid I felt we looked standing next to each other. Of course he was really nice and we ended up having a good time but there was also one other element I didn't think about when choosing what to do for our date. As much as I love baseball I forgot to take into account just how long baseball games are. When going on a typical date you can easily escape after one drink or even after dinner, but when you go to a baseball game you are committing to at least 2 1/2 hours with this person you're meeting for the first time. This sets up some potentially awkward silences. Thank god for the sound of the ball park so that during these silences it's not utter silence! Finally the game ended and he drove me home. Naturally, when exiting the car I thanked him for a great day (ok, great might have been pushing it) and I told him "talk to you later, we should totally hang out again"...lies, all lies. Not sure why we do this, as if it's some post dating protocol, but I should have just thanked and left. However, I always find myself telling the guy we should "do it again sometime"even when that is exactly the opposite of my intentions...(For any FRIENDS fan's out there this is similar to a problem Chandler had when trying to break things off with Rachel's boss). Needless to say we did not talk ever again - oh well!
Lesson #6 - Intuitions are a funny thing. When we have intuitions about something it's usually only after we do that something that we say "I should have trusted my intuition" - and it's true. There is something deep inside all of us in which we have some unexplainable gifts but because we are human and make mistakes it's easy to neglect these feelings. Whether it's a serious issue or not it's good to trust your intuition.
Also - I found this article and think it's a quite interesting - and it hits home to my personal dating life and possibly yours as well so check it out!
So weird that you wrote this and mentioned Of Mice & Men because i LITERALLY randomly just picked a friends cd... picked an episode and it HAPPENED to be when Joey got the chick... and was squeezing it a little too tight and Chandler was like, "ok Lenny!" hahah
ReplyDeleteI was going to post it on your facebook too :P
oh and PS... my old e-mail account was mivitabella7... haha what a coincidence your match.com name is vitabella5. ;)
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